Legacy of Love

  This is an interesting one, as I don't consider myself extravagant.  But as I think about it, there are a few things where I Am extravagant.  For myself - it's my nails. my only real vanity.  For the grandkids: well, no limits here. I basically give them everything they want, within reason of course. But it pleases me so to give them all the little extras that I had to tell my own kids no to.  Uhmm..this one should be obvious. Art supplies. I definitely indulge myself in this area. Too much actually. Way too much.  Shopping. Period. I am definitely an impulse buyer. Working on quelling this habit in 2026 though. We'll see how I do.  Travel - Steve gave me the travel bug early on in our marriage. Took my first big trip with him, in 1983 to Florida. Since then, we traveled so many places...my most extravagant trip was to Italy and the Mediterranean cruise. So worth it. So many memories.  So many beautiful trips...Germany..that one filled my entire...

 What is the trait I most deplore about myself... DEPLORE: Feel or express strong disapproval or regret.  More than one... I'm petty. Always have been, and I really hate that. I can get upset/annoyed at little things..especially sharing things. I've gotten a lot better I think. But it still rears its ugly head, especially with William.  I deplore my reactions when I get triggered. It makes me realize I still have a lot of work to so in that area still. Need to practice the breathe/pause response, rather than anger.  My last situation with it, caused me to get into Bryn's face, yell at her and my instinct was to slap her face. (I didn't) And I fear I broke something in our relationship. It breaks my heart that I hurt her. 

This I know: Fear is a liar. Admonishments related to fear are listed over 100 times in the Bible. Fear is not of God. I personally wonder if Fear is the root of what eating the apple brought to humankind.   What things am I afraid of? Since I don't have a good grasp of my true feelings, (working on that)...I find it hard to contemplate this questions...because I don't often recognize my feelings.  Mainly, I fear that my loved ones will not give their hearts to God. That would be the most horrendous eternity that I can imagine.  Most of my fears are things I have no control over. How Bryn & Cora will turn out, how will they resolve her trauma. Mike being alone. Emily's health. All of our health really.  I have fear about surviving retirement. We didn't financially prepare well and are now scrambling. I'd really like to retire at 67, but am not sure that I'll be be ale to afford to do so.  I fear a health issue will totally wipe us out, or separate us fr...

Starting out with a rather tough question. What is my idea of Happiness? I'm finding that this is rather hard to describe and define.  Maybe because I almost always feel happy inside. Even as a kid, even in the circumstances I grew up in, I was always positive, always smiling, always sure that things would improve. I think it's because I knew that I had God inside of me. He's lived in me always. Especially after the age of 9 when I was saved, and again at 15, when He gave me Michael.  Once i left home, I felt on top of the world. I had Steve's love and care. No more fighting, violence and fear. I felt like I could do anything, BE anything.  Sure, I['m not always sunshine & smiles....but after studying the letters of Paul, Ihave always held onto two things.....  I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of...